Guinea Pig Theatre

Hey Guys

2011-05-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of Cloak and Dagger I just drew. Do you know about those guys? My friend suggested I draw them so I did, and I did some sloppy PS pain in the background. ooooh!

They totally were fucked up, druggie druggie addicts. cloak was an ex-basketball star, dagger was an ex-ballerina. They were all fucking high, and then they accidentally got high on the drug that gives you super powers.

Good one, right?

Oh, Cloak is a soul vampire. But lucky for him Dagger has extra-soul. Or something.

They fight crime.

IN alleys.

Cloak's cloak is all the darkforce dimension so he and others can sort of teleport through it, he can also suck you into it and, you know, steal your soul or something. Going in there sucks. Fact.

Dagger throws light daggers. But not lasers. They're like...just...you know, goodness daggers, or something. They make you tired, I think. Sometimes she throws them at Cloak when he gets all soul hungry.

It's a weird set up, honestly.

Hey I miss all you guys. For serious. I miss you and you and you. Are you coming to my new site? I do a webcomic about a pro-wrestler fighting to save the planet. And I have a tumblr, too. All the stuff I used to here I do over there, just no Guinea Pigs.

2 more Four Panel Comix

2011-04-06T12:01:00.000-07:00

Honestly, people, I really am using my tumblr more than this dude anymore. Tumblr is just better suited to my style (or lack thereof). You should all go and hang out over there.

All three of you. And you all know about my webcomic, yeah?

Here are two Four Panel Comix I didn't get to post over here yet.

"Dr. Doom in Power"

A Dr. Doom/Kanye West mashup where I massacre Kirby style.

and

"Every Power Girl Comic Ever'

OMG?

2011-04-01T14:33:00.000-07:00

So I just got the most awesome comment ever on my 10 Former Avengers You Do Not Want On Your Avengers Team. I am unsure if it's comically serious, or a hilariously time April Fool's joke.

Will I share it with you all? Of course I will!

"lame. obviously you're not a comic reader. i worked at marvel for 5 yrs and i hate lame ass, phony, hipster snarky shit that always ignore the elements that make characters dynamic and worth writing. you're pathetic."

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out this post is Anonymous. And nothing really backs up any credential one uses like being Anonymous. I'm JUST saying.

Also, I didn't realize I'm a hipster. Totally awesome.

Also, at no point do I actually disparage any character as not being "dynamic" or "worth writing" i just point out, you know, why they wouldn't be your FAVORITE co-worker if you had to be on a team with them.

Finally, I want to point out that these are not real people. They're super heroes who are always written with a ridiculous amount of seriousness. All of them, if they were real, would take shits. Stinky shits.

" worthless and weak two gun kid? he's a very good shot, leader of a superteam, has a robotic horse, has plenty of hi-tech weapons"

it should be noted that my only actual gripe about Two Gun Kid was that he lived in the Old West. And that he would never, ever show up for missions that way. Also, that a six shooter isn't much good against Kang.

Which is true.

I felt like that robot horse was even too ridiculous for me to bring up.

"falcon was trained by cap in fighting, espionage and the like. he's like a special forces trooper that flies."

Hey, I actually started the Falcon post with the following "Someone just said "Hey man, you leave Sam Wilson alone! He's a solid hero!" Okay. I mean, you're right, he's reliable, for the most part, he's loyal, he's pretty sharp" Obviously, the joke with Falcon is that 1) Flying is lame if it's all you do, and 2) with a little bit of mind control he goes all Black Power terrifying on you. That's a drawback on a team that's composed 98% of white folk.

If you said in your brain "HE DOESN"T JUST FLY, HE CAN SEE THROUGH A BIRD'S EYES, TOO!" And don't see how that would be up for ridicule next to, like, Thor and Iron Man, then you clearly don't see why these characters are remotely humorous.

And these are 9 and 10 out of 10. I'm even admitting they're solid, but fallible.

"tigra, come on. super str, agility, claws?"

Tigra is a little bit easy. Who, also, has terrible taste in men. Maybe "working at Marvel" you missed the opportunity to work with women in close confines, but you DO NOT want to work that lady. That lady makes you lose faith in all of humanity.

Also, her costume would be a distraction. It's distracting me just thinking about it. It's more distracting than even Power Girl's.

"rage may only be a kid but you know what? he's been trained by the powerhouses of the avengers. his age has no bearing on anything."

Okay, first off on Rage. You and me can form two Survivor Series style teams. But one of your team members has to just be the biggest 13 year old kid you can find. I win. AND, secondly, you're wrong, When he was put on the Avengers he had came straight out of the New Warriors. He wasn't trained at all, unless the local Boys and Girls club had a self defense class for Middle Schoolers before he went all gigantor strong.

And he'll hot rod the Quinjet with his friends! And he doesn't clean up his room.

"Demolition man doesnt have a lack of confidence. do your research."

I did. Captain America 340. "In the latter conflict, Demolition-Man tried to apprehend the villainess Titania. However, Titania's strength far exceeeded his, and she threw him off a cliff, nearly killing him. After the encounter with Titania, Dunphy lost confidence in himself.^[3] Soon afterward, the Commission on Superhuman Activities arrested and interrogated him.

Upon his release, Dunphy found Rogers trying to reconstitute his team the Avengers (Earth-616), and Dunphy joined the team on an informal basis. To help Battlestar, Dunphy and Rogers flew to the Arctic to rescue Battlestar's partner, US Agent (the former Super-Patriot), from ULTIMATUM. Dunphy, still unsure of himself, waited in an Avengers Quinjet while Rogers and Battlestar investigated."

Ahem. Also. King of the Hoboes.

"jack of hearts has the power to destroy the earth ten times over, cracked silver surfer's skin and withstood graviton, magneto AND electro. 3 of the most powerful energy based villains in marvel"

And yet was the mopiest, emo, cry baby to ever join the Avengers. Ever.

That's all I'm saying!

Was he super powerful? Sure.

But if he's always going on and on about that stupid Zero Suit and being pretty much an over-sensitive crybaby about EVERYTHING? Who cares?

Shit, without Tony Stark he would've just blown himself up and he didn't even THANK Tony for that.

He's a cry-bitch.

With super duper powers.

You don't want that dude on your team. He's a downer, he's a distraction and he's bad for team moral.

"hank pym.. really? REALLY? he's the scientist supreme appointed by eternity."

Hank Pym, really. Wife beater, confidence loser, ultron maker, criminal, multiple personalities...yeah. That dude. West Coast Avengers Era Hank Pym is one of my favorite super dudes of all time. He wore that awesome red jumpsuit and kept shrunken gizmoes in his pockets. But. Dude was a HOT MESS before that. And really after that it's presumed he was a fucking skrull the whole time.

So. When he wasn't being just a complete emotional wreck causing damage either directly or indirectly to his teammates and was actually useful...he was probably not even Hank Pym. He was probably a skrull.

Oh yeah, and he put his ex-wife's brain patterns in a robot. And you know he's fucking that robot. So, yeah. One has to wonder if Reed Richards was in the Negative Zone when Eternity was looking to hand out titles.

Hey, my whole schtick is the humanization and the humorization of these super-dudes. Look at my 4 panel comics or the couple of super hero tribute stories I've posted and pretty much anything comic related I posted. These guys are taken way too serious for being completely, completely ridiculous. I say that out of love, man. And I'm not even saying these guys stink. I just wouldn't want to go to work with them every day or rely upon them to responsibly and efficiently handle their part of the work while we're saving the universe. I do, more or less say these guys suck, though.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

2011-03-05T13:24:00.000-08:00

I suspect Batman calls this "Taking Clayface to Arkham"

Continuing my series of Superheroes doing things everyone else does.

4.5 x 6 watercolor on paper

4 Panel Comix: The Joker

2011-03-03T12:51:00.001-08:00

This is why no one reaches out for me to write any Joker comics.

Also, no one knows who I am.

Oh, thanks so much IDOL HEAD OF DIABOLU

2011-03-01T19:07:00.000-08:00

I just got posted over at The Idol Head of Diabolu, which is a Martian Manhunter appreciation site, which I totally dig on because I totally, totally adore Martian Manhunter. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that before. And that dude is totally under appreciated. I think it's fair to say that J'onn is probably my favorite superhero. I mean, sometimes I lean other ways, but pretty consistently he's No. 1. Most criminally underappreciated hero EVER. Period.

Also they refer to me as Kenny Sparks through the whole thing. Which I think is hilarious. My name is Kyle Starks. If you didn't know. Seriously. Go learn about the Manhunter.

Superman Enjoying His Lunch

2011-02-28T07:32:00.001-08:00

I'm thinking about doing a series of superheroes doing normal every day stuff.

Here's Superman stopping for his lunchbreak.

4.5 x 6, watercolor on paper

Just so you know, you know, I'm still doing that webcomic thing over at Robot Mountain. Also, I started a tumblr site, now, it's pretty much the same stuff as I post here, except it looks a lot better. Tell all your best friends about it!

Watercolor Draw Draw

2011-02-26T08:16:00.000-08:00

I'm teaching myself watercolors now. I have a degree in painting and not once did my stupid art school offer anything on these awesome little dudes. Watercolors are the bitch of the art world, I guess. So I'm owning it. (to the best of my ability).

Still totally taking commissions. Anyone? Buehler?

Elephant Man Turns It Around

2011-02-18T17:22:00.000-08:00

If people aren't cool to you, bro, just say "screw that" and put on a party hat. No one hates on the life of the party. Not even the London Hospital can resists the charms of a party dude.

4 Panel Comix

2011-02-14T09:15:00.001-08:00

Oh look!

Happy Valentine's Day!

4 Panel Comix: Spider-Man and Doc Ock

2011-02-03T13:01:00.001-08:00

4 panel comix

2011-02-01T16:09:00.001-08:00

I've almost moved everything over to the other site in terms of updates and stuff, so I hope you have me RSSed over there. Because I love you all. I never want us to be apart.

But here, I drew these, they are more bad 4 panel comic jokes.

I give you the worst Plastic Man joke ever, and Rogue and Iceman:

Superheroine upskirt

2011-01-20T11:56:00.000-08:00

One more thing me and The Parademon have in common...

I made this awhile back. The Captain lives a desperate life.

What if #3 What if Iron Man was even more of a dick.

2011-01-10T17:11:00.000-08:00

No, not really. It's "What if the Avengers had never been." I ran across the scans from the awesome Grantbridge St and other Misadventures. I actually read this comic a million years ago. No not when it came out, that was 77, nephew. I was beyond wee. In fact, I think that I checked this out, specifically, because it was the issue from the month and year I was born. But I can't remember.

The gist is that the Avengers never teamed up, so instead the Hulk was the Hulk that we all know and love running around smashing everything, instead of the relatively emo-y Hulk that was an Avengers member.

Buzzkill, Hulk.

Anyway, there aren't Avengers, but there's still Antman and Wasp and Iron Man and Iron Man straight up makes suits for the Pyms, and for Rick Jones. Because I don't know who you want watching YOUR back in a fight, but I want Rick Jones. Rick Jones made the Hulk on accident, because he was too dumb to read a Keep Out Explosions of Gamma Doom sign. He's hanger-on-ed to pretty much every event, and hung out with pretty much every at some point or another. I think he rolled with Rom the Space Knight for awhile. Anyway, pretty much he's just a normal wing man. He has no powers, no skills (I think he plays guitar, though), no real value, except keeping you company in between battles that he probably, accidentally led you in to.

Anyway. Not the point.

In this What If, Iron Man is a dick.

And Rick is dumb. You don't flap your wings in the Starktech, dipshit. You ever seen Iron Man FLAPPING HIS DAMN ARMS? Ugh, Jones. Seriously, putting Jones and Pym on the same team is just about the dumbest move you could pull. These guys will go out of their way to accidentally kill you. Their friend.

Oh, Tony. You brought this upon yourself.

Tony Stark does not take back talk from Rick Jones.

Dr. Strange Schools The New Avengers On What A Real Super Villain is...

2010-12-27T10:21:00.001-08:00

Oh, Piotr

2010-12-23T08:31:00.000-08:00

I was always a little weirded out that no ne ever called out Colossus for messing around with a teenager. I mean, I'm pretty sure that Colossus was 20-21, but really, if you're not in high school you probably don't need to be messing around with high school kids.

Also, if you run a kindergarten through high school, you probably shouldn't let your adult former students hang around so much.

I guarantee Cyclops was banging the kids in between Jean, Medelyne and Emma. Because Cyclops is a creep.

Martian Manhuner panels from Detective Comics 304

2010-12-14T19:21:00.000-08:00

I've been reading Showcase Present: Martian Manhunter #1 because I love the Martian Manhunter so much. There are some really awesome panels in there - which is normal for silver age DC.

Also, I colored them.

Because I like coloring things.

Sometimes.

What's worse?

Not remembering the guy in the room is deathly "allergic" to something, or publicly announcing your local superhero's achilles heel?

Chief, you're either really dumb or a huge dick.

And while I think Manhunter is being polite in his comment, I think he's sort of wishing cancer on the Chief.

This next one is the best comic book panel of all time.

"Alright, Boys, this here is the Crime College and I'm gonna learn you right.

This here is the Gun 101.

A) this is where you put your itchy trigger finger.

B) This is where you hold it.

C) This is the part that shoots out the death.

Got it? Alright, let's rob a bank."

They're paying a lot for this class.

I want to paint this one. Just for the ABC breakdown of a gun.

Iron Justice in "CORNERED BY DR. MAYHEM!"

2010-12-13T12:41:00.001-08:00

New stuff coming soon, I promise!

2010-12-08T21:29:00.000-08:00

I'm actually working on some new stuff I'm going to be posting soon. A little comic I drew tonight, another forthcoming Avengers comic (sort of a sequel), and hopefully another angst fueled list. But in the meantime here's today Ricky Thunder panel - one of my favorite yet.

Ricky Thunder is over at www.kylestarks.com, of course.

Also, there's been a lot of interest lately on the old Guinea Pig Theatre. I'm glad to see that people are still showing some sort of interest. It's really appreciated.

Halfway through Ricky Thunder

2010-11-04T17:09:00.000-07:00

If you haven't been reading my webcomic, waiting for it to build a head of steam, I would say you could probably read it now and have enough to enjoy it. I hope!

Start here!

I'm totally hoping to get more draw-draw up here, btw, don't give up on me. More comic stuff forthcoming - the holiday season is a rough one, though,

ESPN magazine Marvel NBA Preview

2010-10-21T14:26:00.000-07:00

Man, there's supposed to be 30 of these "variant covers" smashing Marvel Comics and NBA together (this, frankly combines two of my three, non family related, favorite things. If they were drawn by Jerry "The King" Lawler I could probably die). But they're, frankly...terrible.

This is the cream of the crop, and not just because one of my really good friends adore the Mavs.

The Dallas Mavericks are being compared to Hank Pym. I think I've said enough about Hank Pym to illustrate why this is terrible.

The whole thing is wrought with Marvel reference inaccuracies, so it's sort of terrible-great. Lots of really bad art, too - the Suns one has three random guys below Steve Nash and the middle one looks like what can only be described as a cardboard scarecrow. And look I know that I'm far from masterful, but it's pretty clear the Marvel guys half assed most of these.

The main Western Conference as Infinity Gauntlet one is the only one that's great:

http://insider.espn.go.com/espn/flash/insider/zoomGallery?section=gen&photoGalleryId=5707677

I wish I could find the Eastern Conference to see what they compare my beloved Knicks too.

Avengers Mini-Comic

2010-10-18T20:26:00.001-07:00

I made this. I apologize in advance for the terrible and distracting lettering job. I had to use what I could find at work and decided to go dumb with it.

There's still Ricky Thunder to look at...

2010-10-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

I know things have been slowing down over here - things have been hectic in real life, and allowed me little time to draw. In fact, to my beloved followers, all who are so terribly silent, who I adore, but who are very very quiet. I'll draw something on demand here. You can give me something specific, a theme, whatever. I'll draw it for your amusement.

Seriously. Post in the comments.

Also, Ricky Thunder is still rolling on over at Robot Mountain

Best panel yet!

I'm totally working on another superhero thingy for the blog. it'll be something.

This place needs to liven up, though. It's dead in here.

Tyler Rocks!

2010-09-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

You may remember Tyler Garrison from some previous Guinea Pig Theatres he did for me (Dirty Harry and Clockwork Orange) - well we did a portrait swap and I made this awesome thing for him. And it's so rock n' roll I'm going to share it with you.

I know what you're wondering, "Do I take commissions?" Of course, I do.

Calvin and Hobbes/LoSH Mashup

2010-09-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

They're doing a Halloween draw-draw contest over at Superpunch, right now and this is my contribution.

A new draw-draw list should be coming soon - and remember to go to www.kylestarks.com to see the ongoing adventures of Ricky Thunder every Monday and Wednesday!

Ricky Thunder

2010-09-07T18:10:00.000-07:00

I previewed most of Ricky Thunder here and on my flickr page - today is the first page NEVER BEFORE SEEN!

So go on over to www.kylestarks.com and take a look.

or just wait until the weekend and start from the beginning - i'm still working out some kinks on exactly how I want the site to look/function.

Superpunch again

2010-08-30T12:45:00.000-07:00

Man, Superpunch is my new best website friend. I mean, honestly, outside of gmail they were my most visited site before, but they threw up my newest Avengers list this weekend (by the way, I had to go back and add/tweak/fix some of the text there). If you don't go to:

www.superpunch.blogspot.com

regularly, you're really missing out on some top notch nerd type stuff, reporting. They update all day long, all week long and really are an amazing source of entertainment and information.

Also, if you haven't been going to www.kylestarks.com then you're missing out on the Legend of Ricky Thunder getting rolling. I mean, I posted what I posted there over here, already, so far - but I'm pretty sure that changes at the end of this week. I'll let you know when there's new stuff.

Go read superpunch!

EDIT: updated D-Man and Tigra text for the funny

10 Former Avengers You Do Not Want On Your Avengers Team

2010-08-28T16:52:00.001-07:00

I don't know if you've been paying attention but there's a whole lot of new Avengers teams going on, and it's been like this for awhile. For about the last 5 years Marvel has been rolling out New Avengers, Mighty Avengers, Dark Avengers, Secret Avengers, Potato Avengers, Original Avengers, Avenger Avengers, etc, etc, ad nauseum. It's always very exciting, you know. Who's going to be on this Avengers team? Who's going to be on THAT Avengers team? Well, here's 10 former Avengers you probably don't want to bring back.

10. Two Gun Kid

POWERS: None. Shoots pistols.

Two Gun Kid isn't actually all that bad of a dude. I mean, sure gun shooting guys are probably not all that useful when fighting the Wrecker or Ultron. So why is he on here? Because he only exists in the Wild West. So the only time you will ever need/use/see him is when you're doing your super-heroing in the Wild West. In the past. Look, there's no super villainy in the 19th Century, anyway. Kang is not conquering 1890s Texas. Promise. Thanks for nothing, Two Gun.

9. Falcon

POWERS: FLIES

Someone just said "Hey man, you leave Sam Wilson alone! He's a solid hero!" Okay. I mean, you're right, he's reliable, for the most part, he's loyal, he's pretty sharp, just... Look, if you said to me "Hey, man, now you can fly." I would crap my pants in excitement. That would be spectacular. But let's be honest, as a super hero super power that's the throw in. Flying in a super-fight isn't really really useful. And don't even start talking about his bird friends, or whatever.
But my prejudice against the usefulness of comic book characters that only fly isn't why he's here. It's because with even the slightest amount of mind control Sam almost always does something like this:

Yikes!

8. Tigra

POWERS: Cat like powers of agility and jumping and claws and stuff. Also, bathing suit excellence.

Again, someone is saying "what? no way, dude." And I know, I know. Tigra is solid in a fight. Well, sometimes, I mean the Hood beat her up on camera phone to make a point. But look, here's why she's on the team. Look at how she's dressed. For a team that's almost always comprised of men she's a distraction. One time she saved the world from being destroyed with her hotness. Which is cool, but if her milkshake is strong enough to distract molecule man amidst a homicidal rage imagine what its going to do to Iron Man after a couple of drinks.
Also she hooked up with Hank Pym, who's a known wife beater. Clearly she has confidance or self esteem issues. But still, at No. 8, these guys aren't all that bad, right?

And you know what else? Sometimes she has a tail and sometimes she doesn't, and I just think that's creepy.

Also, that all being said, for a team made almost entirely of men she's also on the list of people you want on your Avengers team. I know. It's contradicting.

This type of thing was always happening:

Wasp: It's crucial we get our timing right here. Wonder Man you're going to flank Ultron from the east. Hercules you charge up the middle, you'll be our distraction while Tigra, Iron Man and Me bring in the viral disruptor he brought. If we all hit at once we should be able to finally stop Ultron. Are you ready? Avengers Assemble!

...

Guys? What the fuck? I said, "Avengers Assemble."

Wonder Man: Sorry, Janet can you say that again? Tigra dropped her cell phone there and...

Herc: That maiden doth not bend at the knees!

7. Rage

POWERS: Standard Strong Guy Powerset: Super strength, nigh-invulnerability

He's 13, People. I know he looks like a Totally, Bad-Ass, Scary, Adult Black Dude, but he's 13. He once stole a Quinjet with his buddies. No one wants to hang out with a thirteen year old unless they're it's parents. There's a lot to like about Rage as a useful team mate, but whenever you're having lunch in the Avengers Mansion and he's having lunchables and talking about Justin Bieber it's just going to be a drag.

6. Marrina

POWERS: Swim swim, breath underwater.

Swimming powers are even more useless than flying powers. In fact, you're probably more likely to get into a super hero fight in the old west than one in the water. But that's not why she's on the list. She's not even an Avenger! She's the Yoko Ono of Avengers. She was married to Namor (The Sub-Mariner) when he was pretty much leading one of the crappiest Avengers line ups, ever (FYI: Dr. Druid, Black Knight, She-Hulk, Photon, and Namor and Marrina)
I mean she's quiet, she doesn't really get in your business, but she's ALWAYS around and you know she's not supposed to be there. Hanging on Namor's arm, asking if he needs a drink or anything. Maybe a fresca.
Oh and sometimes this happens, just because :

Oh yeah, and if you get her pregnant she turns into this Giant Alien Leviathon of doom and you probably'll have to use your homie's Magic Sword to kill her. (Could not find a pic of that, but believe me it's awesome)

5. Demolition Man (D-Man)

POWERS: Standard Strong Guy Powers, but on the weaker side

D-Man (real name Dennis Dunphy, for Alliteration's Sake) got his powers originally from super drugs, started hanging out with Captain America and Falcon and some how got to start hanging out with the Avengers. And when I say "some how" I mean because he was Captain America's homie. D-Man actually seems like he'd be alright. Good natured and a good time. Okay, but that dude has ZERO SELF CONFIDANCE. Like, negative zero. Or something. One time, in the midst of a super hero rescue mission he STAYED IN THE QUINJET. And then he almost got blown up in it. I'm telling you, this is the kind of guy you can't rely on in a super hero team. I think he was a hard drinker too, but I can't find internet sites to verify it.
Oh, and later on he became the King of the Homeless People. For real.

Also, when he was making his costume he intentionally combined the worst aspects of Daredevil and Wolverine, so if we're not adding lack of imagination here we have to add awful fashion sense. You just know when not in his D-Man suit he's either constantly wearing Hawaiian shirts, or possibly was one of those guys who popped their collars.

King of the Homeless.

4. Jack of Hearts

POWERS: He can fly, he can fly in space, he shoots power-beams out of his hands (Which he uses to fly. Fist powered flight is the lamest way to fly. trust me. You can't scratch your nose, or get the bugs out of your eyes while cruising along. You're better off with Butterfly wings), and other generic type powers. Resistant to damage. I mean, you get it.

Jack Of Hearts was infused with the generically named ZERO ENERGY (OOOOH!) which he was exposed to thanks to his daddy on accident. So he had a suit built to contain it. Anyway, long story short that suit didn't work worth a shit. Sure he was strong enough, power-wise, to punk out Kang (which is a guaranteed "in" to join the Avengers), but he had to sit in a room for 14 hours a day to let the energy chill out. And he was WAY EMO ABOUT IT. Always pouting around, snapping at his homies. In the end he blew himself up along with Ant-Man 2. Ant-Man 2 could've made this list, because "shrinking" is uber lame, but apparently he owned an electronics store. Which actually seems useful OH, and his (ant-Man 2) daughter is Stature.

Anyway, Jack of Hearts? Total downer. No thanks.

3. Starfox

POWERS: Flight, Nigh-Invulnerably, Super Strength, LUSTY MIND POWERS

Starfox has a power that he can make you want to get in his pants. He's a total horndog, too, so he's always taking advantage of it. And he's a creep. I'm not 100% sure that guys are safe from him. You do not, do not, do not want that guy around.

He's going to creep your team out ALL THE TIME.

You remember this:

2. Scarlet Witch

POWERS: Magic Reality Altering Powers

Okay, this bitch is straight up crazy.
1) She fell in love with a robot.
2) She used her magic to make that robot have sperm that could get her pregnant
3) She had robot babies that were perfectly human.
--no one said anything--
4) That was all magic, obviously, you have to be crazy to a) sleep with a robot and b) make robot babies with your magic powers on accident
5) She changed the entire universal reality, once, so that mutants no longer exist(she's a mutant, btw, not an actual witch, but you know...a mutant powered one. she doesn't have actual magic training.) She committed genocide on her own race, man!
6) she flipped out AND DESTROYED THE AVENGERS. How? Like so:
a) Brought Jack of Hearts back to life to blow a bunch of Avengers u[
b) causes her ex-robo baby daddy to crash a jet into the mansion and bust up some Avengers
c) causes She-Hulk to actually hulk up and kill former robo-baby-daddy (The Vision)
d) brings in an alien race to invade the planet
oh and she does this UNINTENTIONALLY
7) commited genocide on the mutants with three words (No More Mutants). Oh, and again, she IS a mutant.

I bet you're wondering what's worse. Or you already knew.

1. Hank Pym

POWERS: Shrinks, grows, makes things shrink and grow

I don't even know where to start with this guy. He pretty combines all the lame attributes of the previous 9 people here.

Okay, so he's a super scientist and he's an original Avenger as Ant-Man who could shrink to ant size. File under: Worthless Power. Sure he could talk to ants to. Yawn. His lady friend, super hot Janet Pym, he gave shrinking powers, too - but she could also fly and shoot power beams. So he made his lady better than him. What?
Early on he solved a fight with his brain. On a team with Thor, Captain American and Iron Man who are super power houses this was great, because he was already sweating the dumb power thing. So he gets to be the smart guy on the team. But then he sees Iron Man is Tony Stark who's a total super genius mental powerhouse. So he mopes.
Then he comes back the next day as Giant-Man, who can grow. And you'd think that'd be okay, but, you know, it's not, really. Because Thor and Iron Man can one shot a bad guy and all you can do hope you don't fall on people when you get shot. Which you will because you're a really obvious target. So he and Wasp quit for a little bit before he comes back again as Giant-Man but calls himself Goliath, presumably because Giant-Man is a dumb name.
Then, trying to be helpful he accidentally makes Ultron. Ultron is an indestructible, ROBOT OF DOOM that single handedly will kick the crap out of the Avengers for the rest of all the Avengers lives. Repeatedly.
Then he goes ape-shit nuts and thinks he's not Hank Pym anymore, he's Yellowjacket - who does the same thing as his previous iterations but has the Wasps power beams (Finally, Hank! Come on!). He also, being nuts, finally marries super hot lady friend Wasp then snaps out his crazy AT THE WEDDING. But Wasp knew it was him, because she's been sleeping with him for, like, 20 years.
Then he gets turned into a caveman (for a little bit).
Then he decides he needs to regain his confidance, and good image to the Avengers. So he builds ANOTHER evil robot to fight and show the Avengers he doesn't suck, but Wasp finds out about it.
SO he slaps his wife.
HE'S A WIFE BEATER!
Needless to say he gets divorced and kicked out of the Avengers. In which he then proceeds to see his wife hook up with every eligible bachelor.
So he's a sad Hank. Again.
At some point in here he makes Jocasta, which is another robot. But with his wife's brain patterns. Creepy.
But then he gets to hook up with Tigra, so that's cool. And he becomes an advisor to the Avengers, and SHIELD and the US Govenment. He's on his way back!
No. He was a skrull impersonating Hank. And even that skrull got jacked up.
But then he comes back, but during the whole, Skrully, Secret Avengers thing his former wife, The Wasp got straight killed off.
So what does any respectful guy do?
He becomes his fifth persona. THE WASP. Oh yeah, and is probably making love to his wife-brained Jocasta robot.

Oh, Hank. You are a hot mess.

In Summation he possesses the shortcomings of every character on this list: Lame powers, lack of self confidance, moping crybaby, created a blood hungry nemesis for the team, beat his wife, was crucial in the near success of Secret Invasion makes love to robots and is in general an all around loser.

io9.com also, apparently, likes me

2010-08-23T10:25:00.001-07:00

I showed up on io9.com this weekend, which by my estimation, means that if I show up on Robot 6 this week I've officially ran the gauntlet of nerd websites that I want to show up on.

I hope this isn't the end. I have a lot more ridiculous draw-draw in me.

(Also, don't forget about my webcomic page www.kylestarks.com - now running a new post every day for a couple of weeks, then I have a couple posting on mon and weds for a couple of weeks. Ricky Thunder!)

NEW HAPPENINGS!

2010-08-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

Firstly, my new webcomic is totally going live today.
It's called Robot Mountain and it's going to be a (hopefully) awesome anthology thing. It's starting today with my Ricky Thunder series which - in all honesty - you can see the initial two weeks run HERE on Guinea Pig Theatre, already, or on my flickr page. But i'm striking while the iron is hot, so to speak. So add www.kylestarks.com to your blogroll or whatever. It's going to be awesome.

Also, I'm starting some paintings that are going to be equally nerdy, I imagine, and I'll let you know about them here, and I'll likely start an etsy page for them. Or something. I don't know.

I'm going to keep updating stuff here and posting my general nerdery and, of course, going to continue with my Draw Draw Challenges and other general whateverness it is that I do.

Comicsalliance now?

2010-08-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

Comicsalliance is now getting in on the fun of showing off some of my work and they do so in, honestly, the most generous way possible. All 26 of my ABCs of Marvel Mediocrity are on display with some truly, truly kind words in the write up. I'm totally a super super super lucky guy to be getting some publicity on what are, absolutely, my favorite websites. I really, really, really hope this isn't the end of my ridiculousness showing up in their esteemed e-halls.

Also if you don't go to Comicsalliance or Superpunch you are really missing out on the best sources for the finest in coverage of all things nerdy and awesome. I have been going to both of these sites daily for the last year and they've become my two primary sites to check.

Holy Crap I'm on Superpunch!

2010-08-16T15:22:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Wow! Wowza! WHOA! PROFANITY! PRFANITY!

I visit Superpunch ALL THE TIME -and just the other day I was telling you all how excited I was that they were increasing the number of geek related fine art posts and whatnot and listen, I'm just saying that I go there all the time.

AND I'M ON IT!

LOOK!

No, seriously, go LOOK!

OMG.

Thanks, Superpunch! You have no idea how much this means to me.

Draw Draw Challenge #4: Costume Redesign

2010-08-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

Hey, I know, like, zero of you are participating in this, but again if you want to just redesign a super-hero costume and feel free to mail it to me, and I'll post it on here if you'd like. It's really all about being productive rather than doing something mindblowing.

I re-did probably my favorite superhero Martian Manhunter. I adore J'onn J'onnz if, for anything, for how criminally misused he is - for one thing he's the only really, really notable psychi/mind power character in the DCU and it's forgotten or overlooked, or simply ignored ALL the time. Telepathy is crazy useful in the superhero game. But on top of that, you know, he's the archetypical DC power template: flight, super strength, impervious, eye beams. Oh yeah, and he can turn invisible, change shape and become immaterial. Oh and he's a "master detective." So he's like a mix between Superman and Batman if Superman could rape your brain and Batman could, you know, change shape and walk through walls. Essentially, he can do anything he wants. But no one ever cares. Oh, and unlike Superman, he's from another planet, lost here on earth as his civilization was destroyed and has taken to loving and protecting earth, but still feels 100% alien and actually deals with that regularly.

OH.

And he loves Oreos.

I blame a lot of the disinterest in the Manhunter because his costume is awful. It's 50s simple, and therefore sort of iconic and it really stands out, but frankly, it's sort of dorky. So, I wanted to keep what little portions of his current costume that screamed "Martian Manhunter" - which is to say, the big red X and the belt with the white logo - but I also wanted his new costume to look alien. After I reached a happy point there, though, he just didn't look right without something to add to his silhouette. And I just don't see J'onn as a cape guy, but I do seem him having a priestly or regal air that comes along with a cape. i figured the martians were a desert society, so I did a little research and decided I really liked the over-sized scarf/sash thing that I found in my simple google image related research and decided I really liked how it looked, it made him stand out, and it gave him a great silhouette. So, I'm prety fond of it - and I added some of my little doodles trying to get a costume I liked, but in the end I really liked what I came up with, which is pretty surprising since costume design is not anywhere on my forte list. Also, I really liked drawing Martian Manhunter all week.

so, enjoy:

Postcard Elba

2010-08-10T15:33:00.001-07:00

hey, I have a new ongoing web-column thing now at Postcard Elba (http://postcardelba.wordpress.com) called Sound As Vision, where I "redo" album covers. This one is The Clash's London Calling. And when I say "redo" I mean "ruin" ha!

So head on over and take a look.

Draw Draw Challenge #4

2010-08-09T15:09:00.000-07:00

I return with Draw Draw Challenge. So if you want to participate, you know, go ahead and send in your dude to starr226(at)gmail.com (that's me!). Remember the point of DDC is not to do something amazing, it's not to blow away your peers, it's not to change the world, or to get free lunch. No. The point of the DDC is just to DO something. If you want to do something amazing, have at. God knows, I haven't done anything amazing since, apparently, the Nacho Libre Guinea Pig Theatre.

Draw Draw Challenge#4
Costume redesign!

Redesign a single super-dude or dudette or if you're feeling ballsy an entire super team. Why not? Go crazy. You have a full week and whatever. So...next Monday.

This is part two of my "ripping off other famous website's idea" last DDC being the Covered Blog (covered.blogspot.com) and this week being Project: Rooftop (http://www.tencentticker.com/projectrooftop/) - but the next DDC will be back to an original idea, I hope. Or at least a different idea. Who knows?

You know who doesn't know. Me. Come on!

Kurniawan again

2010-08-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

I posted that awesome Fubar artwork by Ronald Kurniawan awhile back - here's some more awesomeness by him.

http://superpunch.blogspot.com/2010/08/four-armed-sunbather-and-more.html

Superpunch is an all around awesome nerd website - them adding more "fine" nerd art to it, really pumps up it's awesomeness to me. More Draw-Draw coming, I promise. working on a piece for a friends music related blog and going to start posting soon on my new webcomic site, Robot Mountain.

Draw Draw Challenge #3 - Recreate a comic cover

2010-07-28T13:06:00.000-07:00

Draw Draw Challenge continues - redo your favorite cover.
Here's a link to the original image:

www.comicvine.com/the-avengers-the-annihilation-gambit/37...

As soon as I was finished with it, I sort of hated it. Should have made all the action more bombastic - but I've found that I have real issues reference pre-existing images. I want to be true to source material, but in this case I really should have hammed it up, made it more cartoony.

Starfox is Awesome

2010-07-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

Let me just explain this - when incapable of directly affecting a situation, Starfox's resolution is to bang a random onlooker with his space junk.

I bet there was a lot of "Where's Starfox?" in the old Avengers days.

(From Avengers 233)

Ronald Kurniawan

2010-07-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

How great is this?
I just found this guy and his alphabet stuff is amazing

Old news, I also love Ryan Heshka.

Who I can't find any awesome images to snaggle. So just go look:
http://www.ryanheshka.com/

Draw Draw Challenge #2 : Team Splash

2010-07-19T15:41:00.000-07:00

This week's Draw-Draw Challenge was to do a "splash page" of a team looking "bad ass." This is about as close as I get.

Also, really bad halftoning.

It's the Agent of Atlas, if you didn't know. I heard their series just got cancelled, which is a shame, because it's great.

Also, that other draw-draw I talked about awhile back is going to be coming about soon. And I'm going to be painting. Obviously, post-GPT (yes, I know I said there'd be 100...) it's just going to be something different, but I'm hoping for regular updates, and I'm going to start announcing in advance what the Draw Draw Challenges are, so anyone can participate if they'd like.

25 X-Men

2010-07-12T09:57:00.000-07:00

I've been on Art Paternity leave for awhile, but i made Drawing Challenge to my friend to draw 25 X-Men in a few hours. He came up embarrassingly short, I, of course, despite being terribly out shape of I triumphed.

You can see the full set on my flickr page or click here to see them all directly.

No. 98 (possibly the end)

2010-06-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

I posted this on flickr and facebook in APRIL. And didn't realize it didn't make it here, at all, which is ridiculous, because this is where the guinea pigs live. There are two more GPTs I'd really like to do, just to appease myself, but I don't know when it's ever going to happen. I just had my second daughter (April 23rd) and haven't picked up pen or pencil since. It's a hectic, hectic life.

But, I do want a sense of closure over this. Probably won't be a book. There's just really not enough interest.

Still. If anyone's paying attention...here's a big one...

Webcomics Week

2010-04-19T20:43:00.001-07:00

Hey, kids, it's Webcomics Week over at

Whitechapel
http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=8082&page=1

Whitechapel being Warren Ellis's forums of awesomeness, and Webcomics Week being the week that you get to post what webcomic you're working on, so there's lots of awesome webcomics going on over there. Makes me wish I was able to get my next project actually on the web sooner than this week. Not that it's going up this week, I don't think, probably deeper into the summer after GPT lays down for a very long, probably permanent nap.

Also FreakAngels is over there - which is Warrne's webcomic. Which is totally awesome.

Anyway, I need a place marker for things that look interesting so that I can come back to them. I've meant to do this about a million times because some webcomics are amazing (wondermark, hark a vagrant) and other are really awesome but I tend to forget about them (Dawn of Time, and others that I didn't save somewhere).

So here we go:

Nathan Sorry
http://www.richbarrett.com/nathansorry/2009/02/18/page-1/
Looks really good, it's about a guy who survives (or avoids) 9/11 and gets rich and another identity some how, but probably has all sorts of angst.

Red Light Properties
http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=comic&id=58586&page=1&panel=1#comic
Interesting visuals there's some digital collage for sure- it's about a real estate agency that sells haunted houses, and has a drug popping exorcist. the preview looked good.

Marooned
http://www.maroonedcomic.com/
I've started to read marooned several times and liked but didn't love it - it's nicely drawn, looks fun, is sort of a gag strip, but you can tell it looks like it goes some where eventually. Marooned is on the list of comics I forget to ever go back to, because I can't RSS at work, and I didn't save their addies anywhere.

Bellen
http://boxbrown.com/
Box Brown's seemingly auto-biographical comic is awesome. Everyone thinks so. I suggest you look at it. Me too, because I forget.

Astronaut
http://samaraleibner.ca/page-1
This is one that I don't think I've seen mention of - I saw a few panels and it looks great. Simple, elegant. It's a lady too! LADY DRAWER! And not furries. Which is nice. Or magic. Or magic furries. You'd be surprised at how much of that.

That's all of note so far - more to post later, I'm sure.

No. 98

2010-04-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

Only 2 more to go. These are some that were requested that I never wanted to go all out on - and since I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with the third to last one anyway, i just did a montage.

I was trying to do enough that there wouldn't be ones I wouldn't regret doing - but sadly there is no Woody Allen and there is no Marx Brothers in GPT. In the end, I think, both are too funny in ways that would never work here.

Hopefully, I'll be finishing GPT up this week. I have the birth of my second child on Friday, and then I'm going to try to put the book together.

Last requests

2010-04-15T16:38:00.001-07:00

We're down to it. I really, really want to have GPT behind me, besides finishing putting the book together.

So.

If you've ever suggested a Guinea Pig Theatre that I didn't do, please re-suggest it. Like, right now. I'm going to try to do a massive half assed one, so i don't regret not doing, like, Blue Velvet or Fight Club. Or Eternal Sushine for my friend Tim.

Seriously. Last chance.

Leon, The Professional

2010-04-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

Leon wasn't originally on the list, but I caught it the other night and was reminded how awesome Luc Besson can be. I was also reminded how that was how I used to do GPT - just basing them on whatever movie I could find on TV.

Only three more to go.

Just so you know, two of the last three are already locked in.

I'm sad that I'm likely not going to have a Woody Allen or Marx Brothers film in here, who are far and away at the top of my list of favorite film makers. Though, looking at what I've made to this point, it certainly looks like I"m a Coen Brothers fanatic - (crap, no Hudsucker Proxy or Shawshank!) I'm also unlikely to get the really ambitious Bottle Rocket plans I had in. I mean, frankly, when you sit and look at it, I haven't really made any recent movies. I could do this forever, probably. But it's coming to an end, and I'm happy about it. I'm going to move on to projects that are 100% me, rather than 99% Hollywood and 1% me, and I really hope that everyone who has had an interest in GPT to this point is willing to give that new work a try. I think it'll be cool.

I have 3 more to do, I have 2 weeks to the birth of next child (Girl No. 2) and I don't really want to be doing GPT after that, except for putting the book (hastily) together.

This ride is almost over, folks.

Uncle Buck

2010-04-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

That leaves 4 more to go.

This is, likely, the first and last multi-panel GPT.

Here's the large version. it's not awesome, but it's way better at an appropriate size.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4051/4498028406_ce3dfab727_b.jpg

Things we know:

1) John Candy guinea pig in panel one is awesome.
2) Guinea pig legs continue to be almost impossible to draw and not look stupid.

The Legend of Ricky Thunder continues

2010-03-25T12:51:00.000-07:00

Again, I'm hopefully going to be opening up my new website relatively soon...so if you love Ricky, or want to love him, be prepared for all my non Guinea Pig projects to have a new address.

Say Anything

2010-03-25T11:18:00.001-07:00

March Madness

2010-03-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

Didn't you used to make comics about guinea pigs recreating movie scenes?
yeah, i did. keep your pants on they're coming

Legend of Ricky Thunder

2010-03-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

So, obviously I was intending to speed up GPT but it's slowed down.

"WHAT FOR, KS?"

I'll both tell and show you what for, punk.

1) I'm putting together the Guinea Pig Theatre book. Things I know: I'm doing it through Lulu until someone tells me a better option, and it's going to be in color and hardcover. I think. Lulu is confusing. Also, it will, likely be more expensive than it's worth. ALSO, if you're interested let me know.

1a) GPT is still coming. If you come here for that, there are 6 more to come. There will be a new one (at least one) this week.

2) I'm putting together art stuffs for an art show and whatnot. It's all digital collage stuff - totally high brow business. No cartoon animals. Okay, there are cartoon animals, but they're in a really awesome context. Once that gets closer I'll post that awesomeness here, too.

3) I'm also already getting started on my next project. I don't really want to restrain myself to one genre, so it's likely going to be called like Awesome Adventures, or something equally stupid. But I'm starting off with THE LEGEND OF RICKY THUNDER.
It's eventually going to get moved to a new, happier, more awesome website that'll just be my name, because I own that shit and whatnot. Don't worry, I'll let all 16 of you know when it happens.

Want to see it? Okay.

Oscar Edition: King Kong (1933), Chinatown

2010-03-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

KING KONG (1933)

King Kong, in 1933, did NOT win the Oscar for Best Picture.

Are you kidding me?

In 1933 if I saw on the magic screen a giant ape climbing the Empire State Building and PUNCHING OUT AIRPLANES my life would've been forever changed.

What in 1933 could have possibly been more amazing than that?

Blows my mind, man.

What did win? A Noel Coward flick. And look, I can dig that. Noel Coward brings the dramatic funk.

A GIANT APE FIST PUNCHING AIRPLANES!

OUT OF THE SKY!

It's one small part of why I hate the Oscars.

It's also why everyone in the universe loves a giant fucking ape, too.

CHINATOWN (1974)

Jack Nicholson did not win best actor for the role of noir, sarcastic, kick ass detective Jake Gittes. No, Art Carney won for playing a dude on a road trip with his cat.

Seriously, Oscars?

Fuck you.

Also, Al Pacino was up for some sequel flick about someone's Grandpa.

Oh, Godfather 2.

Fuck you, Oscars.

ALSO: Only 6 more Guinea Pig Theatres to go. I AM going to be compiling a book. I'm hoping for less than $30. If you want in on it, it'd be nice to let me know so I can prepare for it.

8 more to go

2010-03-01T12:55:00.001-08:00

It's getting harder and harder to keep efforting this thing to it's deserved end. There are 8 more to go, I have every intention of finishing them up, and doing so as soon as possible (specifically, well before my next child is born in April). I'm also planning to compose some sort of book type collection, though, I suspect with there being very little interest, that they'll be more on the expensive than cheap side - considering how at the very least it's going to be 100 pages. I'm going to look into lulu this week and check around on prices. If there is any significant interest you can email me. I'll post potential pricing information when I get it - and hopefully, I can come up with enough interest to do two GPTs this week, if not more.

Fast Times At Ridgemont Hight

2010-02-20T12:03:00.001-08:00

Aloha, Mr. Hand.*

No. 92, only 8 more to go.

*see what I did there?

Starship Troopers

2010-02-08T11:29:00.000-08:00

COME ON YOU, APES!
YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER?

No. 91

Innerspace

2010-02-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

How old is this movie?

Dennis Quaid pulls off cool
Meg Ryan pulls off cute
Martin Short pulls off funny

Also, the questionable biological geography is pretty funny. Jack Putter kisses Tuck Pendleton into Meg Ryan and like 3 seconds later some how Pendleton is in her uterus. What?

Still. It's a good flick. Back when even the stuff Spielberg just produced was super fun. I mean, comedy-action remake of Fantastic Voyage.

The Igo pod scares the crap out of me. Also being shrunk creeps me out.
A lot of creeps me out actually. The half shrunk bad guys at the end? The weird Cowboy face stuff. The IGO MACHINE!

Go You Colts

2010-02-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

No Guinea Pig Theatre this weekend. I had to work overtime and, as you may or may not know, I am a Hoosier and therefore focusing on all my attention on the Super Bowl and the festivities that go with it.

And when I say "festivities", I mean I bought a deep frier.

So fear not, GPT shall return soon. In fact, there's a small chance I may move to twice a week or so to speed the whole "finishing this thing up" process.

If you're keeping track we have 11 left.

Raise your hand if you noticed there was no GPT this week.

Rear Window

2010-01-30T12:06:00.000-08:00

Rear Window is probably my favorite move of all time depending on my mood (you know how that goes).
These are the two things I need for an awesome movie:

1) Alfred Hitchcock directing
2) Grace Kelly appearing in 80% or more of the film.

Frankly, I've been pretty happy with even just one or the other.

What?

You haven't seen Rear Window?

How dare you!

No. 89

(you should see the first version I did of this - infinitely more detailed. I actually drew the a good portion of the view outside of Jeff's window in illustrator, including Thorwald smoking a cigarette, and the dancing girl through her window. Really amazingly over worked. I like this better, whether it's actually better or not. If you ask nicely maybe I'll show you the other version.)

okay, here it is:
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4011/4317037808_3ca0fd5007_b.jpg

Princess Bride

2010-01-23T14:40:00.000-08:00

I probably missed your favorite part some how.

Don't be sad.

But we're almost done here.

Gran Torino

2010-01-16T11:34:00.000-08:00

Not some of my best work but it's been busy over here - sick babies, schedule changes, lack of sleep.

So I apologize.

By the way, only 13 more to go.

Game of Death

2010-01-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

Guinea Pig Theatre No. 86

I asked The Wife what I should do this week, and she proclaimed (more or less) that there should be more guinea pig action.

So I give you Bruce Lee jump kicking Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in the fucking face.

What's more awesome than that, huh?

(Yeah, I motion blurred. Deal with it.)

Z is for Zzzax

2009-12-31T07:12:00.002-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Zzzax is a giant monster made out of electricity! He fights The Hulk. He can even control your nervous system. And, he's a GIANT, ELECTRICITY MONSTER.

Should be awesome.

Iron Man beat him with a fire hydrant.

::Sigh::

Y is for Yellow Claw

2009-12-31T07:12:00.001-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Trust me, the bad poem says it all...albeit mis-spelled.

He's just a Fu Manchu rip off.

That's it.

Seriously.

He's both culturally insensitive and super villainously lame.

X is for Xorn

2009-12-28T09:59:00.001-08:00

Also, I clearly can't count days to alphabets. It's Monday, I'm on X, so Wednesday is going to be Z, where I really wanted Z to be on the last day of the year. I'll come up with something. And, yes, GPT is taking the rest of the year off.

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Okay, so to start a Retcon, or Retroactive Continuity, is the "the deliberate changing of previously established facts in a work of serial fiction."

Xorn is a clusterfuck of a retcon.

I'm just going to try and set him up, with as few jokes as possible just so you can see what a mess he is.

Grant Morrison is a comic book writer who is always working on a different level than everyone else - sometimes his stuff is genius, sometimes it's just stretching too hard for the genre and more of a confusing mess than epic storytelling, BUT, for the most part his run on New X-Men was pretty genius and he came up with Xorn.

Xorn is an imprisoned chinese mutant who's energy output is so great that he has to wear this mask. His power is described as "He has a star for a brain." X-Men stop him before he takes off his mask and thus destroys the world. X-Men say come hang out with us, you get a cool jacket.
Xorn also turns out to have amazing healing powers and is, like, the most optimistic mutant you've ever seen. he starts teaching the "special" classes at Xavier Institute.
And then...he takes his mask off and he's Magneto. And he proceeds to unleash Magneto Hell. Destroys the X-Mansion, takes over NYC, kills a shit ton of people, etc.
But...Magneto? What?
Okay, so Morrison says he had this planned from the begininng, and since I haven't read the entire series I have to go with a few websites that say that it's totally true, but so subtly done it's awesome. I'm skeptical (Retcon #1).

Any way, though, Xorn is Magneto, albeit the lamest version possible, okay?

Oh, and at the end of all this chaos, Wolverine lops off Magneto's head.

Hold on, don't go anywhere. There's more.

Marvel, in all their wisdom really like the Xorn character and, of course, they like Magneto too. And they're upset that Morrison "killed" them off.

Okay, so Magneto is buried in Genosha (which is the mutant continent).

But, like, a week later Professor X runs into Magneto. Not dead.

Oh yeah and then Xorn shows up (Retcon #2).

Xorn tells the X-People that he is Xorn's twin brother (new Xorn being Shen Xorn, old Xorn being Kuan-Yin Xorn) and that Old Xorn was taken over by some sort of bacteris mutant or something and was PRETENDING TO BE MAGNETO.
What?
Okay, so then because that didn't make any sense it was decided that Scarlet Witch actually made a duplicate of Magneto who then went through the whole Xorn thing. Not the real Magneto (Retcon #3). Then the new Xorn dies or something.

Okay.

So Scarlet Witch who has chaos powers (if that makes any sense to you, I hope it does - I can't explain it now, explaining something else you see) and does this thing where she gets rid of all the mutants, but not really, just all but 198 of them (198 exactly, people). And Xorn is one of them.
Okay?

NO.

Retcon #4: The entire Mutant super powers come storming out of space and hit this postal worker in Alaska and he's mega powered and he goes on this destrcutive rampage. It turns out that, some how all that super powers is being controlled by...right, XORN. Who's so powerful than when his powers are shot into space And he explains that "took the image of Magneto, because he knew mutants would follow him." When he busted up New York. What?
So disembodies Xorn power, that is still Xorn, gives Magneto back his powers (he wasn't one of the lucky 198). And then he gets killed, some how, when a minor super hero gives Magneto a stroke, or something. Aparently, some how his Xorn energy is thrown into the sun or something by the Sentry, who's frankly, always throwing people into space.*

What the fuck?

You have to admit.

That's lame.

I'm exhausted now.

*this last retcon is the work of Brian Michael Bendis who some people think is a genius. I tend to disagree.

W is for Wizard

2009-12-27T14:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, the Wizard is another villain I adore, but let's be honest, despite the fact that he, as leader of the Frightful Four has more than once given the Fantastic Four a run for their money, the fact of the matter is...well, he's a penis, right?

Look at that outfit. Right? And his whole thing is that he's a genius and sort of mis-guided.

He's a penis.

RIGHT?

Wizard has always been crazy smart, he (like the Fixer) have built their criminal career on awesome gizmos (anti-gravity discs being a Wizard go to). Originally he used his tech to be a fake magician calling himself (I kid you not) The Wingless Wizard.

I think his primary motivation as a criminal is to prove that he's smarter than Reed "Mr. Fantastic" Richards and well, add that to the lame list - b/c Mr Fantastic is the smartest guy in the Marvel Universe (Sorry, Doom).

And again...he's a penis, right?

Oh, and the Frightful Four are always trying to imitate the Three-Guys-And-A-Girl formula of the Fantastic Four and I'm telling you EVERY TIME whoever that girl is ends up betraying.

Phallic costume.
Misguided Intellect.
Constantly ruined by woman.

He's a penis.

V is for Vulture

2009-12-26T06:58:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Oh, Vulture.

Okay, look, if i was going to make an ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Heroes then Old School Angel would be on it, because his power is that he can fly. And not fly at hypersonic speeds, and not even really safely carry anyone while he's doing it. Just being able to fly in real life would be awesome, but in a world of super powers is pretty lame.

Now, take that and be 80 years old.

Old man.

Villain.

Okay, so to be fair, I just read his wiki and Vulture has actually been an okayish villain. Apparently he always cashes in on his grudges with relative success. He's successfully got his revenge on:
1) The guy who helped build his flight harness then cashed on on the design.
2) The guy who replaced him for a bit as the Vulture.
3) The gang of kids (Vulturions) who stole his design
4) The entire New York mob (thus becoming new crime lord.
5) A mobster who hired a hitman who was going to kill Spider-Man, thus ruining his chance for revenge.
6) Cancer

And he was in every iteration of the Sinister Six.

Maybe, I was wrong about you Vulture.

Ha.

Nope.

Old man villain.

I mean, you know he has a green adult diaper on under there. And clearly he's a man suffering from osteoporosis.

Hilarious.

U is for Unus

2009-12-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

What's this insanity you speak of?

You've never heard of Unus, the Untouchable?

UNBELIEVABLE.

Unus is an old school X-Villain, so he's not ridiculous, with overcomplicated storylines and desperate attempts at making him tough and gritty.
He used to run with the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, Factor Three (which included the Vanisher who's original costume alone should've put him on this list, but I didn't want so many x-villains). And you know, fought those darn X-Men.

But, he does wear a sweater.
Yup.
A sweater.

Oh, what can Unus do? He has a force field. All the time. You can't touch him, you can't hurt him, he can't touch you, either.

Force fields, as you know, are shields of protection that keep things out, but it must be cold in there, thus explaining the sweater.

Okay, so how lame is Unus?

Here how lame: Once, his powers got a *little* out of control and his force field started to keep oxygen out. And he died.

HILARIOUS!

T is for Trapster

2009-12-24T08:28:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Fair to say that Paste-Pot Pete is the least intimidating villain name ever. Kite Man is scarier.

I really love all the Frightful Four members. They actually have some nice synergy and while villainous none ever seem all that evil.

Usually, I write a little diatribe about how lame these guys are, but for The Trapster I'm going to keep it simple.

One time, The Trapster was defeated by the Fantastic Four's building.

Happy Holidays.

S is for Stilt-Man

2009-12-23T10:26:00.001-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Okay, Stilt-Man, explain yourself.

"Well, I'm a thief, and I have this exoskeleton that makes me really tall. Like my legs are stilts. Get it?"

Okay.

Why do you need to be tall?

"Because of...you know...uh..."

In comics books are banks on the top floors of very tall buildings?

"Well, no, but..."

You're dead now, right?

"Uh, yeah."

Thank God.

Further proof that early Daredevil villains may be the lamest of them all.

He's tall, people.

Not a giant.

Just...long legged.

Like the daddy long legs of villainy. If daddy long legs weren't spiders. And only had two legs.

R is for Random

2009-12-22T12:52:00.001-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

90s Mutant Enemies are massively lame.
Look, he's a tough guy!
He doesn't shave regularly!
He has a gun hand!

GRITTY!

So he's a bounty hunter who can make a gun hand, he can also counter mutant powers. That sounds pretty cool, yeah?

He's not.

He's pink, yo.

With a vest.

Q is for Quasimodo

2009-12-21T11:53:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Okay, so Quasimodo is lame because, well, no one has ever actually read a Quasimodo comic. But he's been around forever with varying levels of impressive power.

Mad Thinker made him (Lame Villain Daddy) as a super computer. Silver Surfer met him, felt bad that he wasn't human like he wanted and gave him an ugly ass body, then Quasi got pissed that his humanish body was ugly. So then he's evil.

See?

People are never happy, even when you give them what you want. Or, um, Advanced Computer Intelligences are never happy, even when you give them what they want.

Then they go on universal super evil. But not Thanos super evil, more like...if space had a janitor, and that janitor was evil.

Something like that.

EVIL COMPUTER! BEWARE!

(Also, like, no Q villains.)

P is for Princess Python

2009-12-20T10:31:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

There's lame and there's lamer. Princess Python got her start working for...wait for it...THE CIRCUS OF CRIME.

Yes.

The Circus of Crime.

What can she do?

She's a snake charmer. She has a really big snake. The snake has no special powers, or abilities, it's just a snake.

Oh, she's kind of a whore, too.

So she's a *snake* charmer, if you know what I mean. The whore thing isn't really used criminally, though. It's just her way.

Circus of Crime.

Circus of Crime is lame enough I could've used them for most of these letters. Here's the members, you can imagine their lameness by their names alone: Ringmaster, The Clown, The Human Cannonball, Bluto the Strongman, The Great Gambonnos and Live Wire.

She also joined the Serpeant Society (because it's a snake themed team, and presumably, they needed a lady). Who aren't as lame as The Circus of Crime, but she was totally their weak link - in fact, I think she frequently fell in love with their adversary and turned on the Society a couple of times.

Oh yeah, and apparently she was married to Stilt-Man, and then The Gibbon. I mean, you might as well just kill yourself.

Oh, hold on. I kid you not, Princess and her Circus of Crime compatriots, as a group, were defeated by Howard the Duck.

TWICE!

::absinthe::

O is for Owl

2009-12-19T08:12:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

I'm not going to mess with you here, Owl was supposed to be Daredevil's nemesis. They built him up (Buttercup), they took him from a Wall Street dude that could glide, to a mutant with Owl powers who was a criminal kingpin.

The problem?

Presumably that he looks friggin' ridiculous. He's wearing a green Sherlock Holmes coat.

He has OWL powers.

Do you understand what I'm saying to you?

And, yes, he eats mice occasionally.

Last time I saw The Owl people were taking DNA out of his back to make some sort of mutant drug. I mean, really?

Ha.

OWL POWERS.

Also, his death has been ignored . The Hood (an actual, intimidating criminal kingpin and overall bad guy) shot him in the head, and a few months later he showed up in Daredevil being all sorts of lame.

I know what you're thinking, because I keep bringing this back up, "Kyle, no one stays dead in comics." And you're right. But usually everyone is just brought back through some convoluted resurrection. These guys are so lame that you just don't bother to keep track if they're alive or dead. Probably, after the issue comes out, one of your homies says "Hey, dude, you wrote the Owl in this story, but he's dead." And you just go, "Oh. Whoopsies!"

Conan The Barbarian

2009-12-18T11:57:00.000-08:00

My friend Bryan Bretz drew this because he's obsessed with barbarians and warriors and swordfighting and whatnot. I would link you to his site, but he doesn't have one. Because he's a weirdy.

Not counting this towards the 100, but I am taking the weekend off.

Enjoy someone else's bloody guinea pig sword mess.

N is for Nebula

2009-12-18T11:56:00.001-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Okay, so to be fair, Nebula is a super feared space pirate, the grand-daighter of one of the most feared beings in the galaxy, Thanos.

but she doesn't ever do anything.

She stole the Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos when he had it (awesome) but then, despite having the most powerful weapon in the universe. I mean, we're talking about somethign that allows you to do WHATEVER YOU WANT. She was defeated by Starfox. Who would definitely be the S in ABCs of Mediocre Super Heroes.

Then she went to jail.

And I'm pretty sure for awhile there Thanos disfigured the crap out of her.

Also, N's are pretty thin for choices, and I felt bad at the lack of women to this point.

M is for Man-Ape

2009-12-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Man-Ape does get his powers from a monkey he ate. His powers? He's sort of strong. And he's gorilla agile.

He's a Black Panther villain - and while I highly recommend the John Romita Jr run on Black Panther, his villains are lame.

Man-Ape is a frequent member and co-conspirator with the Lethal Legion. Which has been honored by such villainous luminaries as The Living Laser, Power Man, Whirlwind and the ever popular lame villain The Grim Reaper.

Oh Man-Ape.

(Also, I bet you're all shocked I didn't do MODOK.)

L is for Legion

2009-12-16T15:37:00.001-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Okay, so he was designed by Bill Sienkowicz, so when drawn by him he...okay, he still looks ridiculous, but he looks stylized ridiculous. If you know who Bill Sienkowicz is (especially in the terms of mutant comic books) you know what I mean.

Let's see if I can work this out. It's not easy.

Legion is Professor X's illegitimate son so he's massively super brain powered. But he's ape shit nuts. Back when I was reading he had three personalities and each one controlled a different brain power (I'm a little Cyndi, I have pyrokinetic powers!). Are you getting this? Illegitimate son with multiple personalities?

UGH.

Super soap opera.

Frankly he's done stuff as a an attempted X-Man nemesis which is a big old mess involving time travel (yeah, he can do that), and psi-blades, and more and more personalities and absorbing people's brains or something. I mean, he's a total mess.

He's got Kidd and Play hair!

Stay away from Legion.

K is for Klaw

2009-12-15T12:41:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Klaw is another villain that really isn't all that bad - though he is, primarily, nemesis to Black Panther, who despite his awesomeness is sort of a second rate hero.

Klaw's been in version of the Masters of Evil fighting the Avengers and Frightful Four fighting the Fantastic Four. He's been around, he's mixed it up.

Okay, here's the thing.

He's made out of sound.

He's a dude that's made out of sound.

And that thing on his hand? He shoots sounds at you.

He's a sound guy.

Lame.

J is for Jack O'Lantern

2009-12-14T16:37:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

This can be a "Just LOOK at him" situation, right?

Oh, he had a little golden thing he used to be bounce around on. He has a pumpkin head, people!

Okay, if memory serves...there was a guy who was poor man's Green Goblin who called himself Hobgoblin. Already we're second tier. He had some demon or something in him to make him "scarier" than Green Goblin, but everyone knew a bad copy when they see it. So eventually he got it spit out of him (becoming Demogoblin, no joke) and then, b/c he couldn't give up his ways he put a pumpkin on his head.

Sadder still is that, like, 4 people have dressed up this way.

I is for Iron Monger

2009-12-13T11:53:00.001-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Just like it says - Iron Monger isn't really all that bad of a villain. Obadiah Stane was the head man of Stane International, a munitions dealer, who was pals with Tony Stark(Iron Man)'s dad. He's definitely the first economic villain, that I know of (if that's the phrase) _ initially, his evil was just in the hostile takeover of Stark Industries via a compicated plot that involved Stark being romantically involved with one of Stane's henchmen villains, blocking his international business, etc. He was even evil enough to get Stark to relapse into Alcoholism, and eventually into becoming a homeless vagrant.
And, of course, he stole Stark Industies away from Tony Stark. Building his own much larger, bluer Iron Man armor.

Pretty bad ass, really.

BUT.

This also, of course, just made Tony Stark stronger. Which is no condemnation of Stane. Stark gets his shit back together and, of course, turns the table on Iron Monger and pounds the crap out of him and has him all but up shit creek when Stane offs himself.

He KILLED HIMSELF.

I often wonder if Iron Man fans were all "holy moley!" and "wowzers" over that moment. But I've read some of that run, including the climactic issue and really it just seems out of character, and cowardly.

Also, the "I" options in Marvel Villiany are pretty slim. So I got to draw a big ass robot.

I is for Iron Monger

2009-12-13T11:53:00.000-08:00

H is for Hammerhead

2009-12-12T10:17:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Okay, so it's pretty hard to be a street level villain in a super hero world and not be a little lame to begin with. Sure, there are exceptions, but, you know, not really. Think about it.

You know, deep down, you don't really take Kingpin seriously, and he's done some really messed up stuff. And he messes up guys WITH powers.

Okay, Hammerhead is like a poor man's Kingpin. Except he's got a flat head with metal in it. That's right. He has a hammer head. And he's a poor man's Kingpin. He's not even, really, a very good super hero mafia leader.

He teamed up with Chameleon...when CHAMELEON was trying to be Mafia Kingpin. HE WAS PLAYING SECOND FIDDLE TO CHAMELEON.

In a desperate attempt to de-lame him, they've recently given him the Wolverine-Entire-Skeleton-Is-Metal treatment.

Sorry, Hammerhead. Still lame.

I draw small

2009-12-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

Just so you know.

People tell me, "Dude, you draw really small." And I feel like I should share.

Total Recall

2009-12-11T09:15:00.000-08:00

My Marvel Villain fun isn't going to interfere with Guinea Pig Theatre.

When I was a kid Total Recall was very high on my list of favorite movies. I was totally into Arnold; Terminator, Commando, Predator, Running Man and Total Recall were my jams. There are many scenes I could've done: three booby lady, "i've got 5 kids to feed," COPENHAGEN!, the fat lady head, removing the homing device, etc. etc.

No. 85

Don't be sad, only 15 more to go.

G is for Grey Gargoyle

2009-12-11T07:32:00.001-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Another French villain relegated to the bottom of the Villain Heirarchy. Grey Gargoyle can turn anything he touches into stone - which if you think about it, is pretty intense. He's not changing you back, you know. He touches you, you're stone.
He's fought Thor and Iron Man, he's been in the Masters of Evil a couple of times.

Look, I'm just saying...I can't remember seeing him ever turn any heroes to stone.

So what's he doing?

F is for Fixer

2009-12-10T10:13:00.001-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

You know, I'm going to be honest. The Fixer isn't all *that* lame.

Okay, so originally he ran around with Mentallo (Lame enough to make this list, but didn't) and fought the Micronauts. Lame-ish.

He was frequently Baron Zemo's No. 2 in the Masters of Evil - he's put a hurt at one time or another on Captain America, NIck Fury, The Thing, The Black Knight. I mean, sure, he just has a bunch of gadgets but, well, they're good gadgets.

Later on when he joined the Fake-Good-Guys-But-Really-Bad-Guys group The Thunderbolts he became Techno and acquired a truly horrendous outfit. And he did great evils. Then he became a robot and became even more evil. Nothing as evil as that outfit, though.

Here he is. The Fabulous Fixer.

E is for Enforcers

2009-12-09T16:30:00.001-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

I love the Enforcers. In fact, I'm not going to say anything bad about them

Early, early Spider-Man villains they are the working class of the Villain Underground.

From left to right:
Montana is a lasso expert. That's right. He can rope you. If memory serves, Montana is the brains of the team, which isn't saying much. His expertise is a rope.
Ox is the muscle. He's, you know, strong as an ox.
Fancy Dan is both stylish and a master of judo.

Do The Enforcers fight the Avengers? Of course not.
The Enforcers do collections for your protection racket.
Do The Enforcers have a rocket ship? Or anything?
No. They usually work for an even more obscure character called Mr. Big and generally show up doing a little work for your normal street level boss-types (Kingpin, The Hood, Norman Osbourne, Crime Master, etc).

I love them. Blue Collar Super Villains.

D is for Destiny

2009-12-08T17:12:00.000-08:00

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Destiny is an X-Villain. Here's her powers: she can see the future.

That's awesome. Right? Could be, but in this instance she mostly just "predicts" things. She's like a super psychic hotline. That's it.

She's also an old, blind, lesbian.

C is for Chameleon

2009-12-07T06:11:00.000-08:00

Chameleon is Spider-Man's first villain - a master of disguise and impersonation, he can be anyone, anywhere. Which seems like a pretty sweet setup for a villain. I mean, look at Mystique over in the X-Men books, she's taken pretty seriously. Chameleon's brother was Kraven, who's always been taken seriously, so that's got to hurt too.
As far as I can tell, Chameleon has been killed 3 times, and all three times it was just ignored. I mean, you know you're a barely worth a darn character when no one even cares that you're dead. Kraven, his brother? Died once and has pretty much stayed dead. A true sign of comic respect.
Chameleon has squared off not only with Spider-Man but also Daredevil, Hank Pym (Ant-Man, Giant-Man, Yellowjacket, Wasp, etc...), he even went at the Hulk a couple times. BUT,in his career he's been bested by Aunt May.
Look, everyone has an embarrassing loss. I mean, the Power Pack is a bunch of kids and they got over on their fair share of villains, these little villainous trip ups happen to the best of them (Thanos AND Dr. Doom have both been beaten by Squirrel Girl, you know). But we're talking AUNT MAY here. A frequently ill, sometimes dead Octogenarian. And she beat him with cookies.

Sad.

Poor Chameleon.

Batroc, The Leaper

2009-12-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

Batroc, The Leaper

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Batroc is high on my list of favorite villains right now. And he, also, rocks the purple and orange...and fights captain america. There's a theme, going on here.

Batroc, The Leaper, is french. And he really isn't all that villainous - sure he takes place in the occasional heist, and is always doing mercenary work, but really? He just wants to fight. doing my research I found several appearances where he started HELPING Captain America out. What a dude.

Batroc is the master of Savate - French Kickboxing - which is as obscure as he is.

Batroc has sort of become a punchline for the Marvel Universe - but, honestly, he's a Kirby character. He's not all that bad.

I really like him. HE'S A FRENCH KICK BOXER.

Oh and he started a gang of mediocre villainy called The Batroc's Brigade. I wish I could tell you that The Brigade made this list, but sadly they were so D-List I couldn't bear it. It intially consisted of The Swordsman and The Living Laser. The Swordsman became a good guy, was an Avenger, then died. Living Laser used to be a dude but now he's a dude made out of light. They were replaced by Porcupine and Whirlwind. Both are pretty much what they sound like. THEN it got so bad they made up new guys to put on the team, with standard stupid 90s era names like Machete and Zaran.

Poor Batroc.

I really adore him.

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy (Villain A Day)

2009-12-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

So as you know I'm closing down Guinea Pig Theatre as of No. 100 (that's 16 weeks a way, don't be too sad) but I'm still going to do other things and this is probably one of them. For the rest of 2009 each day I'm going to post another villain. It's the ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy, or a Villain A Day or whatever you want to call it.

Also, I haven't had a cigarette in 3 weeks. Go me!

So we start with Arnim Zola

Arnim Zola is a Mad Scientist stuck in a robot body. Maybe stuck isn't the word. He made the body, I guess. He worked for Hitler, fought Captain America, made robots and gave them stupid names like Primus and Doughboy and he wears purple and orange without shame.

Also, he has a tiny box for a robot head.

And there's a bad rhyme that will carry through the whole mess, obviously. And I mean bad. We're talking AA/BB at the lowest level.

Check back tomorrow for B!

(Guinea Pig Theatre will still post on it's Friday/Saturdayly schedule)

Raising Arizona

2009-12-04T15:57:00.001-08:00

Guinea Pig Theatre No. 84

Cry-Baby

2009-11-28T14:24:00.001-08:00

Forrest Gump

2009-11-21T12:39:00.000-08:00

Number 82

Friday the 13th

2009-11-13T12:09:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, today's friday the 13th. Jason Voorhees Guinea.

Possible Vacation Week

2009-11-13T11:06:00.000-08:00

I did this with odosketch in like six seconds. that's how cool odosketch is, but I'm sure you've all already went and played with it. I may take this weekend off. I've been overworked lately. Unless someone wants to email me an awesome suggestion.

Big Lebowski

2009-11-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

Eight year olds, dude.

Hey how about a rare treat. I actually did this rough Big Lebowski GPT over a year ago.
check it out:

I'm better than I used to be, right?

Dawn Of The Dead

2009-10-31T11:28:00.001-07:00

Happy Halloween!

Guinea Pig Rescue

2009-10-26T07:42:00.001-07:00

Hey, you may have noticed I've added a new little clicker there to the right.
It's not for me, it's for the people at GUINEA PIG RESCUE
They do great things like save guinea pigs from bad situations, do adoptions and offer a whole lot of super good information on guinea pig care.
They do a lot of good for the cavy universe. Those Guineas are little guys and it's always nice to see someone stand up for them. But it's not cheap, especially when you're one of the few groups out there doing anything to help. So please, if you can, send them a couple of bucks.
You can do other things besides send cash too - they take used toner cartridges, amongst other things. Feel free to click to the right and throw whatever extra you may have and please go check out their site.

From Dusk Til Dawn

2009-10-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

No. 78