What if #3 What if Iron Man was even more of a dick.

No, not really. It's "What if the Avengers had never been." I ran across the scans from the awesome Grantbridge St and other Misadventures. I actually read this comic a million years ago. No not when it came out, that was 77, nephew. I was beyond wee. In fact, I think that I checked this out, specifically, because it was the issue from the month and year I was born. But I can't remember.

The gist is that the Avengers never teamed up, so instead the Hulk was the Hulk that we all know and love running around smashing everything, instead of the relatively emo-y Hulk that was an Avengers member.

Buzzkill, Hulk.

Anyway, there aren't Avengers, but there's still Antman and Wasp and Iron Man and Iron Man straight up makes suits for the Pyms, and for Rick Jones. Because I don't know who you want watching YOUR back in a fight, but I want Rick Jones. Rick Jones made the Hulk on accident, because he was too dumb to read a Keep Out Explosions of Gamma Doom sign. He's hanger-on-ed to pretty much every event, and hung out with pretty much every at some point or another. I think he rolled with Rom the Space Knight for awhile. Anyway, pretty much he's just a normal wing man. He has no powers, no skills (I think he plays guitar, though), no real value, except keeping you company in between battles that he probably, accidentally led you in to.

Anyway. Not the point.

In this What If, Iron Man is a dick.

And Rick is dumb. You don't flap your wings in the Starktech, dipshit. You ever seen Iron Man FLAPPING HIS DAMN ARMS? Ugh, Jones. Seriously, putting Jones and Pym on the same team is just about the dumbest move you could pull. These guys will go out of their way to accidentally kill you. Their friend.

Oh, Tony. You brought this upon yourself.

Tony Stark does not take back talk from Rick Jones.