Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
I was always a little weirded out that no ne ever called out Colossus for messing around with a teenager. I mean, I'm pretty sure that Colossus was 20-21, but really, if you're not in high school you probably don't need to be messing around with high school kids.
Also, if you run a kindergarten through high school, you probably shouldn't let your adult former students hang around so much.
I guarantee Cyclops was banging the kids in between Jean, Medelyne and Emma. Because Cyclops is a creep.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Not remembering the guy in the room is deathly "allergic" to something, or publicly announcing your local superhero's achilles heel?
Chief, you're either really dumb or a huge dick.
And while I think Manhunter is being polite in his comment, I think he's sort of wishing cancer on the Chief.
This next one is the best comic book panel of all time.
"Alright, Boys, this here is the Crime College and I'm gonna learn you right.
This here is the Gun 101.
A) this is where you put your itchy trigger finger.
B) This is where you hold it.
C) This is the part that shoots out the death.
Got it? Alright, let's rob a bank."
They're paying a lot for this class.
I want to paint this one. Just for the ABC breakdown of a gun.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
This is the cream of the crop, and not just because one of my really good friends adore the Mavs.
The Dallas Mavericks are being compared to Hank Pym. I think I've said enough about Hank Pym to illustrate why this is terrible.
The whole thing is wrought with Marvel reference inaccuracies, so it's sort of terrible-great. Lots of really bad art, too - the Suns one has three random guys below Steve Nash and the middle one looks like what can only be described as a cardboard scarecrow. And look I know that I'm far from masterful, but it's pretty clear the Marvel guys half assed most of these.
The main Western Conference as Infinity Gauntlet one is the only one that's great:
I wish I could find the Eastern Conference to see what they compare my beloved Knicks too.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Seriously. Post in the comments.
Also, Ricky Thunder is still rolling on over at Robot Mountain
Best panel yet!
I'm totally working on another superhero thingy for the blog. it'll be something.
This place needs to liven up, though. It's dead in here.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I know what you're wondering, "Do I take commissions?" Of course, I do.
Monday, September 20, 2010
They're doing a Halloween draw-draw contest over at Superpunch, right now and this is my contribution.
A new draw-draw list should be coming soon - and remember to go to www.kylestarks.com to see the ongoing adventures of Ricky Thunder every Monday and Wednesday!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
So go on over to www.kylestarks.com and take a look.
or just wait until the weekend and start from the beginning - i'm still working out some kinks on exactly how I want the site to look/function.
Monday, August 30, 2010
regularly, you're really missing out on some top notch nerd type stuff, reporting. They update all day long, all week long and really are an amazing source of entertainment and information.
Also, if you haven't been going to www.kylestarks.com then you're missing out on the Legend of Ricky Thunder getting rolling. I mean, I posted what I posted there over here, already, so far - but I'm pretty sure that changes at the end of this week. I'll let you know when there's new stuff.
Go read superpunch!
EDIT: updated D-Man and Tigra text for the funny
Saturday, August 28, 2010
10. Two Gun Kid
POWERS: None. Shoots pistols.
Two Gun Kid isn't actually all that bad of a dude. I mean, sure gun shooting guys are probably not all that useful when fighting the Wrecker or Ultron. So why is he on here? Because he only exists in the Wild West. So the only time you will ever need/use/see him is when you're doing your super-heroing in the Wild West. In the past. Look, there's no super villainy in the 19th Century, anyway. Kang is not conquering 1890s Texas. Promise. Thanks for nothing, Two Gun.
Someone just said "Hey man, you leave Sam Wilson alone! He's a solid hero!" Okay. I mean, you're right, he's reliable, for the most part, he's loyal, he's pretty sharp, just... Look, if you said to me "Hey, man, now you can fly." I would crap my pants in excitement. That would be spectacular. But let's be honest, as a super hero super power that's the throw in. Flying in a super-fight isn't really really useful. And don't even start talking about his bird friends, or whatever.
But my prejudice against the usefulness of comic book characters that only fly isn't why he's here. It's because with even the slightest amount of mind control Sam almost always does something like this:
POWERS: Cat like powers of agility and jumping and claws and stuff. Also, bathing suit excellence.
Again, someone is saying "what? no way, dude." And I know, I know. Tigra is solid in a fight. Well, sometimes, I mean the Hood beat her up on camera phone to make a point. But look, here's why she's on the team. Look at how she's dressed. For a team that's almost always comprised of men she's a distraction. One time she saved the world from being destroyed with her hotness. Which is cool, but if her milkshake is strong enough to distract molecule man amidst a homicidal rage imagine what its going to do to Iron Man after a couple of drinks.
Also she hooked up with Hank Pym, who's a known wife beater. Clearly she has confidance or self esteem issues. But still, at No. 8, these guys aren't all that bad, right?
And you know what else? Sometimes she has a tail and sometimes she doesn't, and I just think that's creepy.
Also, that all being said, for a team made almost entirely of men she's also on the list of people you want on your Avengers team. I know. It's contradicting.
This type of thing was always happening:
Wasp: It's crucial we get our timing right here. Wonder Man you're going to flank Ultron from the east. Hercules you charge up the middle, you'll be our distraction while Tigra, Iron Man and Me bring in the viral disruptor he brought. If we all hit at once we should be able to finally stop Ultron. Are you ready? Avengers Assemble!
Guys? What the fuck? I said, "Avengers Assemble."
Wonder Man: Sorry, Janet can you say that again? Tigra dropped her cell phone there and...
Herc: That maiden doth not bend at the knees!
POWERS: Standard Strong Guy Powerset: Super strength, nigh-invulnerability
He's 13, People. I know he looks like a Totally, Bad-Ass, Scary, Adult Black Dude, but he's 13. He once stole a Quinjet with his buddies. No one wants to hang out with a thirteen year old unless they're it's parents. There's a lot to like about Rage as a useful team mate, but whenever you're having lunch in the Avengers Mansion and he's having lunchables and talking about Justin Bieber it's just going to be a drag.
POWERS: Swim swim, breath underwater.
Swimming powers are even more useless than flying powers. In fact, you're probably more likely to get into a super hero fight in the old west than one in the water. But that's not why she's on the list. She's not even an Avenger! She's the Yoko Ono of Avengers. She was married to Namor (The Sub-Mariner) when he was pretty much leading one of the crappiest Avengers line ups, ever (FYI: Dr. Druid, Black Knight, She-Hulk, Photon, and Namor and Marrina)
I mean she's quiet, she doesn't really get in your business, but she's ALWAYS around and you know she's not supposed to be there. Hanging on Namor's arm, asking if he needs a drink or anything. Maybe a fresca.
Oh and sometimes this happens, just because :
Oh yeah, and if you get her pregnant she turns into this Giant Alien Leviathon of doom and you probably'll have to use your homie's Magic Sword to kill her. (Could not find a pic of that, but believe me it's awesome)
5. Demolition Man (D-Man)
POWERS: Standard Strong Guy Powers, but on the weaker side
D-Man (real name Dennis Dunphy, for Alliteration's Sake) got his powers originally from super drugs, started hanging out with Captain America and Falcon and some how got to start hanging out with the Avengers. And when I say "some how" I mean because he was Captain America's homie. D-Man actually seems like he'd be alright. Good natured and a good time. Okay, but that dude has ZERO SELF CONFIDANCE. Like, negative zero. Or something. One time, in the midst of a super hero rescue mission he STAYED IN THE QUINJET. And then he almost got blown up in it. I'm telling you, this is the kind of guy you can't rely on in a super hero team. I think he was a hard drinker too, but I can't find internet sites to verify it.
Oh, and later on he became the King of the Homeless People. For real.
Also, when he was making his costume he intentionally combined the worst aspects of Daredevil and Wolverine, so if we're not adding lack of imagination here we have to add awful fashion sense. You just know when not in his D-Man suit he's either constantly wearing Hawaiian shirts, or possibly was one of those guys who popped their collars.
King of the Homeless.
4. Jack of Hearts
POWERS: He can fly, he can fly in space, he shoots power-beams out of his hands (Which he uses to fly. Fist powered flight is the lamest way to fly. trust me. You can't scratch your nose, or get the bugs out of your eyes while cruising along. You're better off with Butterfly wings), and other generic type powers. Resistant to damage. I mean, you get it.
Jack Of Hearts was infused with the generically named ZERO ENERGY (OOOOH!) which he was exposed to thanks to his daddy on accident. So he had a suit built to contain it. Anyway, long story short that suit didn't work worth a shit. Sure he was strong enough, power-wise, to punk out Kang (which is a guaranteed "in" to join the Avengers), but he had to sit in a room for 14 hours a day to let the energy chill out. And he was WAY EMO ABOUT IT. Always pouting around, snapping at his homies. In the end he blew himself up along with Ant-Man 2. Ant-Man 2 could've made this list, because "shrinking" is uber lame, but apparently he owned an electronics store. Which actually seems useful OH, and his (ant-Man 2) daughter is Stature.
Anyway, Jack of Hearts? Total downer. No thanks.
POWERS: Flight, Nigh-Invulnerably, Super Strength, LUSTY MIND POWERS
Starfox has a power that he can make you want to get in his pants. He's a total horndog, too, so he's always taking advantage of it. And he's a creep. I'm not 100% sure that guys are safe from him. You do not, do not, do not want that guy around.
He's going to creep your team out ALL THE TIME.
You remember this:
2. Scarlet Witch
POWERS: Magic Reality Altering Powers
Okay, this bitch is straight up crazy.
1) She fell in love with a robot.
2) She used her magic to make that robot have sperm that could get her pregnant
3) She had robot babies that were perfectly human.
--no one said anything--
4) That was all magic, obviously, you have to be crazy to a) sleep with a robot and b) make robot babies with your magic powers on accident
5) She changed the entire universal reality, once, so that mutants no longer exist(she's a mutant, btw, not an actual witch, but you know...a mutant powered one. she doesn't have actual magic training.) She committed genocide on her own race, man!
6) she flipped out AND DESTROYED THE AVENGERS. How? Like so:
a) Brought Jack of Hearts back to life to blow a bunch of Avengers u[
b) causes her ex-robo baby daddy to crash a jet into the mansion and bust up some Avengers
c) causes She-Hulk to actually hulk up and kill former robo-baby-daddy (The Vision)
d) brings in an alien race to invade the planet
oh and she does this UNINTENTIONALLY
7) commited genocide on the mutants with three words (No More Mutants). Oh, and again, she IS a mutant.
I bet you're wondering what's worse. Or you already knew.
1. Hank Pym
POWERS: Shrinks, grows, makes things shrink and grow
I don't even know where to start with this guy. He pretty combines all the lame attributes of the previous 9 people here.
Okay, so he's a super scientist and he's an original Avenger as Ant-Man who could shrink to ant size. File under: Worthless Power. Sure he could talk to ants to. Yawn. His lady friend, super hot Janet Pym, he gave shrinking powers, too - but she could also fly and shoot power beams. So he made his lady better than him. What?
Early on he solved a fight with his brain. On a team with Thor, Captain American and Iron Man who are super power houses this was great, because he was already sweating the dumb power thing. So he gets to be the smart guy on the team. But then he sees Iron Man is Tony Stark who's a total super genius mental powerhouse. So he mopes.
Then he comes back the next day as Giant-Man, who can grow. And you'd think that'd be okay, but, you know, it's not, really. Because Thor and Iron Man can one shot a bad guy and all you can do hope you don't fall on people when you get shot. Which you will because you're a really obvious target. So he and Wasp quit for a little bit before he comes back again as Giant-Man but calls himself Goliath, presumably because Giant-Man is a dumb name.
Then, trying to be helpful he accidentally makes Ultron. Ultron is an indestructible, ROBOT OF DOOM that single handedly will kick the crap out of the Avengers for the rest of all the Avengers lives. Repeatedly.
Then he goes ape-shit nuts and thinks he's not Hank Pym anymore, he's Yellowjacket - who does the same thing as his previous iterations but has the Wasps power beams (Finally, Hank! Come on!). He also, being nuts, finally marries super hot lady friend Wasp then snaps out his crazy AT THE WEDDING. But Wasp knew it was him, because she's been sleeping with him for, like, 20 years.
Then he gets turned into a caveman (for a little bit).
Then he decides he needs to regain his confidance, and good image to the Avengers. So he builds ANOTHER evil robot to fight and show the Avengers he doesn't suck, but Wasp finds out about it.
SO he slaps his wife.
HE'S A WIFE BEATER!
Needless to say he gets divorced and kicked out of the Avengers. In which he then proceeds to see his wife hook up with every eligible bachelor.
So he's a sad Hank. Again.
At some point in here he makes Jocasta, which is another robot. But with his wife's brain patterns. Creepy.
But then he gets to hook up with Tigra, so that's cool. And he becomes an advisor to the Avengers, and SHIELD and the US Govenment. He's on his way back!
No. He was a skrull impersonating Hank. And even that skrull got jacked up.
But then he comes back, but during the whole, Skrully, Secret Avengers thing his former wife, The Wasp got straight killed off.
So what does any respectful guy do?
He becomes his fifth persona. THE WASP. Oh yeah, and is probably making love to his wife-brained Jocasta robot.
Oh, Hank. You are a hot mess.
In Summation he possesses the shortcomings of every character on this list: Lame powers, lack of self confidance, moping crybaby, created a blood hungry nemesis for the team, beat his wife, was crucial in the near success of Secret Invasion makes love to robots and is in general an all around loser.
Monday, August 23, 2010
I hope this isn't the end. I have a lot more ridiculous draw-draw in me.
(Also, don't forget about my webcomic page www.kylestarks.com - now running a new post every day for a couple of weeks, then I have a couple posting on mon and weds for a couple of weeks. Ricky Thunder!)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
It's called Robot Mountain and it's going to be a (hopefully) awesome anthology thing. It's starting today with my Ricky Thunder series which - in all honesty - you can see the initial two weeks run HERE on Guinea Pig Theatre, already, or on my flickr page. But i'm striking while the iron is hot, so to speak. So add www.kylestarks.com to your blogroll or whatever. It's going to be awesome.
Also, I'm starting some paintings that are going to be equally nerdy, I imagine, and I'll let you know about them here, and I'll likely start an etsy page for them. Or something. I don't know.
I'm going to keep updating stuff here and posting my general nerdery and, of course, going to continue with my Draw Draw Challenges and other general whateverness it is that I do.
Also if you don't go to Comicsalliance or Superpunch you are really missing out on the best sources for the finest in coverage of all things nerdy and awesome. I have been going to both of these sites daily for the last year and they've become my two primary sites to check.
Monday, August 16, 2010
I visit Superpunch ALL THE TIME -and just the other day I was telling you all how excited I was that they were increasing the number of geek related fine art posts and whatnot and listen, I'm just saying that I go there all the time.
AND I'M ON IT!
No, seriously, go LOOK!
Thanks, Superpunch! You have no idea how much this means to me.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
I re-did probably my favorite superhero Martian Manhunter. I adore J'onn J'onnz if, for anything, for how criminally misused he is - for one thing he's the only really, really notable psychi/mind power character in the DCU and it's forgotten or overlooked, or simply ignored ALL the time. Telepathy is crazy useful in the superhero game. But on top of that, you know, he's the archetypical DC power template: flight, super strength, impervious, eye beams. Oh yeah, and he can turn invisible, change shape and become immaterial. Oh and he's a "master detective." So he's like a mix between Superman and Batman if Superman could rape your brain and Batman could, you know, change shape and walk through walls. Essentially, he can do anything he wants. But no one ever cares. Oh, and unlike Superman, he's from another planet, lost here on earth as his civilization was destroyed and has taken to loving and protecting earth, but still feels 100% alien and actually deals with that regularly.
And he loves Oreos.
I blame a lot of the disinterest in the Manhunter because his costume is awful. It's 50s simple, and therefore sort of iconic and it really stands out, but frankly, it's sort of dorky. So, I wanted to keep what little portions of his current costume that screamed "Martian Manhunter" - which is to say, the big red X and the belt with the white logo - but I also wanted his new costume to look alien. After I reached a happy point there, though, he just didn't look right without something to add to his silhouette. And I just don't see J'onn as a cape guy, but I do seem him having a priestly or regal air that comes along with a cape. i figured the martians were a desert society, so I did a little research and decided I really liked the over-sized scarf/sash thing that I found in my simple google image related research and decided I really liked how it looked, it made him stand out, and it gave him a great silhouette. So, I'm prety fond of it - and I added some of my little doodles trying to get a costume I liked, but in the end I really liked what I came up with, which is pretty surprising since costume design is not anywhere on my forte list. Also, I really liked drawing Martian Manhunter all week.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
So head on over and take a look.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Draw Draw Challenge#4
Redesign a single super-dude or dudette or if you're feeling ballsy an entire super team. Why not? Go crazy. You have a full week and whatever. So...next Monday.
This is part two of my "ripping off other famous website's idea" last DDC being the Covered Blog (covered.blogspot.com) and this week being Project: Rooftop (http://www.tencentticker.com/projectrooftop/) - but the next DDC will be back to an original idea, I hope. Or at least a different idea. Who knows?
You know who doesn't know. Me. Come on!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Superpunch is an all around awesome nerd website - them adding more "fine" nerd art to it, really pumps up it's awesomeness to me. More Draw-Draw coming, I promise. working on a piece for a friends music related blog and going to start posting soon on my new webcomic site, Robot Mountain.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Draw Draw Challenge continues - redo your favorite cover.
Here's a link to the original image:
As soon as I was finished with it, I sort of hated it. Should have made all the action more bombastic - but I've found that I have real issues reference pre-existing images. I want to be true to source material, but in this case I really should have hammed it up, made it more cartoony.
Let me just explain this - when incapable of directly affecting a situation, Starfox's resolution is to bang a random onlooker with his space junk.
I bet there was a lot of "Where's Starfox?" in the old Avengers days.
(From Avengers 233)
Monday, July 26, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Also, really bad halftoning.
It's the Agent of Atlas, if you didn't know. I heard their series just got cancelled, which is a shame, because it's great.
Also, that other draw-draw I talked about awhile back is going to be coming about soon. And I'm going to be painting. Obviously, post-GPT (yes, I know I said there'd be 100...) it's just going to be something different, but I'm hoping for regular updates, and I'm going to start announcing in advance what the Draw Draw Challenges are, so anyone can participate if they'd like.
Monday, July 12, 2010
I've been on Art Paternity leave for awhile, but i made Drawing Challenge to my friend to draw 25 X-Men in a few hours. He came up embarrassingly short, I, of course, despite being terribly out shape of I triumphed.
You can see the full set on my flickr page or click here to see them all directly.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
But, I do want a sense of closure over this. Probably won't be a book. There's just really not enough interest.
Still. If anyone's paying attention...here's a big one...
Monday, April 19, 2010
Whitechapel being Warren Ellis's forums of awesomeness, and Webcomics Week being the week that you get to post what webcomic you're working on, so there's lots of awesome webcomics going on over there. Makes me wish I was able to get my next project actually on the web sooner than this week. Not that it's going up this week, I don't think, probably deeper into the summer after GPT lays down for a very long, probably permanent nap.
Also FreakAngels is over there - which is Warrne's webcomic. Which is totally awesome.
Anyway, I need a place marker for things that look interesting so that I can come back to them. I've meant to do this about a million times because some webcomics are amazing (wondermark, hark a vagrant) and other are really awesome but I tend to forget about them (Dawn of Time, and others that I didn't save somewhere).
So here we go:
Looks really good, it's about a guy who survives (or avoids) 9/11 and gets rich and another identity some how, but probably has all sorts of angst.
Red Light Properties
Interesting visuals there's some digital collage for sure- it's about a real estate agency that sells haunted houses, and has a drug popping exorcist. the preview looked good.
I've started to read marooned several times and liked but didn't love it - it's nicely drawn, looks fun, is sort of a gag strip, but you can tell it looks like it goes some where eventually. Marooned is on the list of comics I forget to ever go back to, because I can't RSS at work, and I didn't save their addies anywhere.
Box Brown's seemingly auto-biographical comic is awesome. Everyone thinks so. I suggest you look at it. Me too, because I forget.
This is one that I don't think I've seen mention of - I saw a few panels and it looks great. Simple, elegant. It's a lady too! LADY DRAWER! And not furries. Which is nice. Or magic. Or magic furries. You'd be surprised at how much of that.
That's all of note so far - more to post later, I'm sure.
Only 2 more to go. These are some that were requested that I never wanted to go all out on - and since I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with the third to last one anyway, i just did a montage.
I was trying to do enough that there wouldn't be ones I wouldn't regret doing - but sadly there is no Woody Allen and there is no Marx Brothers in GPT. In the end, I think, both are too funny in ways that would never work here.
Hopefully, I'll be finishing GPT up this week. I have the birth of my second child on Friday, and then I'm going to try to put the book together.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
If you've ever suggested a Guinea Pig Theatre that I didn't do, please re-suggest it. Like, right now. I'm going to try to do a massive half assed one, so i don't regret not doing, like, Blue Velvet or Fight Club. Or Eternal Sushine for my friend Tim.
Seriously. Last chance.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Leon wasn't originally on the list, but I caught it the other night and was reminded how awesome Luc Besson can be. I was also reminded how that was how I used to do GPT - just basing them on whatever movie I could find on TV.
Only three more to go.
Just so you know, two of the last three are already locked in.
I'm sad that I'm likely not going to have a Woody Allen or Marx Brothers film in here, who are far and away at the top of my list of favorite film makers. Though, looking at what I've made to this point, it certainly looks like I"m a Coen Brothers fanatic - (crap, no Hudsucker Proxy or Shawshank!) I'm also unlikely to get the really ambitious Bottle Rocket plans I had in. I mean, frankly, when you sit and look at it, I haven't really made any recent movies. I could do this forever, probably. But it's coming to an end, and I'm happy about it. I'm going to move on to projects that are 100% me, rather than 99% Hollywood and 1% me, and I really hope that everyone who has had an interest in GPT to this point is willing to give that new work a try. I think it'll be cool.
I have 3 more to do, I have 2 weeks to the birth of next child (Girl No. 2) and I don't really want to be doing GPT after that, except for putting the book (hastily) together.
This ride is almost over, folks.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
That leaves 4 more to go.
This is, likely, the first and last multi-panel GPT.
Here's the large version. it's not awesome, but it's way better at an appropriate size.
Things we know:
1) John Candy guinea pig in panel one is awesome.
2) Guinea pig legs continue to be almost impossible to draw and not look stupid.