S is for Stilt-Man

ABCs of Mediocre Marvel Villainy

Okay, Stilt-Man, explain yourself.

"Well, I'm a thief, and I have this exoskeleton that makes me really tall. Like my legs are stilts. Get it?"

Okay.

Why do you need to be tall?

"Because of...you know...uh..."

In comics books are banks on the top floors of very tall buildings?

"Well, no, but..."

You're dead now, right?

"Uh, yeah."

Thank God.

Further proof that early Daredevil villains may be the lamest of them all.

He's tall, people.

Not a giant.

Just...long legged.

Like the daddy long legs of villainy. If daddy long legs weren't spiders. And only had two legs.